MAMA

Hearing my son call for mama whether he’s happy, sad, or really mad is the sweetest sound to my ears. He knows that when he calls me , no matter what I will be there for him.

Knowing that Tyre Nichols, George Floyd, and other black men called for their mama in their agonizing last moments on earth is painful. As a mother, I know that if their mothers heard these cries, they would have given any and everything they could to save their sons.

I have not watched the video and I refuse to because I know that mentally I cannot take the imagery and I don’t want the sounds in my mind. Just knowing the few details I have already taken in, is overwhelming enough.

Last night my husband posed a question that caused me to respond in anger although my true emotion was fear. He asked “what would we do if that was our son?” . It forced me to face the reality of what often plays in my mind; I am the mother of a little back boy.

In grocery stores, the mall, play areas , when my little boy is loud or screaming “mama” for whatever the reason may be , there has never been a white person or member of law enforcement to give him a dirty look. It’s amazing how many of them go out of their way to compliment my son even when his behavior is unruly.

My question is when does he stop being cute? When does he become a threat? When does he become worthy of profiling ? When does the police brutality start? At what point will my son be treated differently because he is a black male? My biggest fear is knowing that this day will come.

I pray over my son daily and as he grows older We will talk to him and teach him about how to protect himself and navigate this world as a black man. I pray that my son will never have to scream mama in agony.

As for the black men who left this earth crying for mama, my heart is broken for you and your mother.

Our sons deserve better.

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