There are times when I look into my sons eyes and I see myself staring back at me
For the longest I couldn’t see myself in Asher which made me a little sad. The older he gets I see more of my reflection. When comparing his face now to mine at his age , it’s like looking at the same baby. That has been really exciting and sometimes strange. I think the strangest part of the reflection isn’t physical, it’s seeing the parts of his personality, likes and interest that are reflective of mine.
An example of this would be when I was a child I wasn’t necessarily fond of outdoors. However, when I was outside I was truly explorative. I fell in love with rocks; I became intrigued with their different shapes , sizes, colors and I would collect them. My mom still has one of my rock collections from my childhood. Unlike me , my son loves outdoors. We have to go out to play everyday or he will stand at the door crying to go out. Once we’re outside and he’s playing for a while , he finds a spot with rocks and plays with them. If I try to leave whichever rock he has deemed his favorite outdoors he has a fit so I allow him to bring them in because this part of him I understand from experience.
This is just one example and it may seem simple or small to most but to me it’s a reminder that a lot of who Asher will be is based on who I am and how he views me. Becoming a parent, this is something you know but watching a miniature version of yourself makes this even more real to me.
My focus is often on making sure my son is great and being everything he needs me to be but the reality is, in order to be what my son needs, in order to be someone he can look up to, I can’t forget about myself.
Self care and self work are two things that are so very easy to forget about when becoming a mother so I say if you can’t prioritize these things for yourself , prioritize them for your children. The reward being that healthy , happy, and whole individual your child will become. They need us to be the best versions of ourselves today so they are a reflection of that tomorrow.