***** DISCLAIMER : this is not an attack on moms that formula feed , bottle feed, could not or chose not to breast feed for any reason. This is simply my personal experience and goals with breastfeeding my son. Every mother hood journey is different and I respect all mothers doing what is best for their children, themselves , and their mental health.
The journey of breastfeeding has been an absolutely beautiful experience for my son and I.
When I found out I was pregnant with my son it was unexpected. There were so many things I had to figure out but one of the few things I was sure of is that I wanted the experience of breastfeeding my son. My original goal was one year but in order to not put too much pressure on myself I decided to take it in three month increments.
The day Ashy was born he latched for the first time with no hesitation. In that moment I knew that I would be able to do this. Unfortunately , from that moment it only became more difficult. It was hard getting my son to latch after that and when he did latch it was painful. The first few weeks were rough, we had plenty of sleepless nights and instead of exclusively breast feeding I quickly began to pump and bottle feed. The introduction of bottles came at only two weeks to give myself some sort of relief. The first six weeks of this was okay but eventually this affected my milk supply.
It was stressful, postpartum depression set in. I felt like I was failing as a mom from the very beginning. I began to power pump, drink coconut milk, and any solution I could find to be able to keep up with the demand of my baby. I refused to give Asher formula. I didn’t want to feel like I failed my son. Eventually, I cut off bottles and only fed him by nursing unless we were leaving the house which was rare. I never suffered with my supply again, Asher never received formula, we were blessed to not only meet but surpass our goal.
Fast forward to the present. My son is now 18 months old and this morning we had our very last nursing session. The thought of ending this part of our bond, this very special journey is emotional and a reminder that my little boy isn’t a baby anymore. He needs me less and as it is exciting to watch him grow, and become more independent it still hurts to know that this part of our lives has come to an end.
This was one of the most challenging and beautiful experiences of my life and I would repeat every day of it just to create this bond with my baby boy all over again.
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Beautiful and congratulations!